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Around the time I began...

What is the first thing of your existence that you remember??? Has this question occurred to you? I have no qualms in boasting the philosophical breakthrough myself but I know there are many cynics in the world.

It was one of those dreaded 'free' weekends when I was made to remember a few incidents of my distant and muddled past. I recalled going to my first school and being excited about it. I can’t help but marvel at the excitement pas raison. I was hardly a soul with 'senses'. Guess that does explain the excitement.

I remember to have participated in a race in my school which my mum now claims never happened. Was I schizophrenic?

I remember Ma leaving me in a photo shop after having a photo done with me. It sounds dramatic, but Ma was in the next shop buying grocery then.

In my next school, the only day I recall is a day when I went to school with no books and just a pencil box because someone told me there was an exam on that day. It would have been my first exam. However, it was not to be. I also remember falling on the school ground while playing … I guess…"running running". I remember Dad picking me once and taking me to didi's dance classes to pick her up.

Probably that was the first time I understood the word 'dance'. Probably it was didi’s last attempt to dance.

I remember we had two cars and I remember going somewhere in one car and the other car following us. I thought my Dad was one of those men who come in the News and talk about stuff beyond comprehension. When I found out he was not, I was relieved.

Later Ma told me that half the things I tell her which I ‘still’ remember could not have occurred. Dad retired during my birth year and gave up the office car.

May be picchhla janam……..

Comments

  1. ..keep posting...don't let the habit get rusted...dur se main padh raha uhn..achha lagta hai... :) "May be picchhla janam…….. " hata bhi sakte ho na??

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  2. :) Ha ha ha. Ma is right. You actually saw only one car. I guess you visualize the stories you hear and make them almost real, a part of life itself. In fact, I remember I lied about something once to a friend and visualized to an extent that it was etched on to my memory and I started believing it; I realized the truth only when I read an old diary entry.

    And yes, I do remember you participating in a race in your first school and I think you won too. (The latter part could just be my imagination!)

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  3. Yeah...I had thot of removing "May be Picchla janam" coz I felt it did not go with the mood of the piece, but I let it be as that is what came into my mind while writing...I did wonder as to how did these thoughts even come into my mind...
    Thanks for the feeback :)

    And didz... Thanks for boosting my morale about the race thing... I really don't remember whether I won or not. But I also remembered a lot of things that certainly could not have happened... Specially the one that annoys you the most that I always knew how to drive and a car even fly a plane ;)

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Gumnami...

गर गुमनामी का यूँ इश्तहार न देते हम, तुमसे रूबरू होने की हर गुंजाईश खो बैठते

Arz kiya hai

गर चाशनीयों में बस्ता है ज़िन्दगी का जायका क्यूँ भला परहेज़ न रखें हम नम्कीन्यों से

True worthless answers

We do not know how to not understand. To be able to be in balance with our mysterious surroundings, we attribute everything beyond our comprehension to something that we can live with. When we made up the story of God, we found comfort in mystery and ignorance. By making Him responsible for everything, we seasoned ourselves not to look for answers all the time. The quest being less intense, we get on with our lives…unperturbed. Our forefathers who found religion in the beginning were indeed intelligent. Those who were dumb to fall for god and the like were not capable of finding the answers anyway. The revelation of my religious orientation should have been gradual and less cruel. But I just could not control the urge to dramatically deny what I don’t believe in. There is another theory which perfectly explains practice of religion by the most intelligent and bright people. They probably understand why it is absolutely necessary to be foolishly optimistic of His existence. It appe...